Day 13: Career Discussion with Madam

Me: What do you want to become when you grow up?

Madam: Meaning?

Me: Meaning... do you want to be a teacher, doctor....

Madam: I want to be a doctor.

Me: Why?

Madam: Because I like checking people out.

Me: 'Checking people out'... I see.

Madam: No.. I want to be a car driver.

Me: Oh ... OK.

Madam: But we don't have a car. So you need to buy me a car so I can drive.

Me: Uhm... OK.

Madam (with a sudden look of having remembered something): No, I don't want to be a car driver.

Me: Why not?

Madam: Because there are many, many cars and drivers already.

Me: So?

Madam: So let them drive. I will sit in the back seat and the driver can drive the car.

OK then.

487 more to go. 

Day 12: The Yoga Week!

For all my love for yoga, I realized that I had never practiced it for 7 days in a row (except when I was away on the retreat in Rishikesh last year, but that's different). Every time something or the other comes up after the 3rd or 4th day - and that "something" can very well be a sore muscle or simply lazines - and I end up taking a break.

But as of today, I can happily say that, I have finally completed an entire week of Yoga - all the beautiful 7 days in a row!

I did a combination of videos from Lesley Fightmaster's 90 Day Yoga Fix series, videos by Brett Larkin and Yogi Nora who are my latest discoveries on YouTube (I like some of their very different flow sequences) and just rounds of Surya Namaskar when I didn't feel like following any video on a particular day.

I wonder how many days in a row this would go, but am not going to burden myself with targets of any sort. Which is really what yoga is about anyway.

So for today, I will just mentally celebrate this special milestone and my love for yoga and what it does to my body and mind! Namaste!

488 more to go. 

Day 11: The Facebook Love!

I quit Facebook about three months ago as part of my social media detox process, and  have not missed it even for a second since. That's pretty surprising because I was expecting myself to have withdrawal symptoms, given the level of my activity on it. Instead, I might even go as far as saying that I feel truly liberated and suddenly find myself with so much time on my hands, which I like to think am putting to good use.

But what has been interesting is how, over the last one week, at least 6-7 people reached out to me or to our mutual friends asking why I have left Facebook and that they actually miss my posts on it! "Miss my posts on Facebok?! Seriously?!", was my reaction to that, because not even in my wildest imagination would I have believed that all those updates that I used to post made any difference to anyone. But apparently it did to a small extent to a small group of people, all of whom I think are way too sweet and I am very grateful to their kinds words.

I am not sure whether I would get back to the social network (I deactivated my Twitter account more than a year ago, and it still remains deactivated), but for today I am just going to be happy about being missed. And I also resolve to reach out to all these folks and stay in touch with them one on one, which may just be a better way of sustaining relationships anyway.

489 more to go. 

Day 10: Vasisthasana - Check!

.... and we are back to yoga!

I was wondering how long it would take before I start filling the blog with my yoga stories.

Of course, as everyone knows, I was always interested in yoga. In fact, last year during our hectic shooting schedule in Abu Dhabi,  I even did quick 20 minute yoga sessions every day without fail, much to the amusement of my cast and crew who kept teasing me about it.

My precious exercise log tells me that I exercised an average of 4 times a week last year and at least half of it was yoga - i.e. about 2 times per week.

This year, I seem to have taken to it more than ever because now am averaging about 3x a week of yoga!

And it seems to be working well, because as I was following yet another YouTube yoga flow video, I realized that I can finally do Vasisthasana or the Side Plank Pose! Phew!

In all this time, the side plank was never within reach for me, thanks to my absolute lack of upper body strength. The other pose that is a far cry right now, due to this lack of upper body strength, is Chaturanga Dandasana or the Four Limbed Staff Pose, but let us focus on the good news here.

So yes, the good news is that I could finally do the Vasisthasana and even hold it until the lady in the video asked it to be held - I could finally stack the hips and the legs, I could stretch out the arms and I could balance. My left side Vasisthasana was a bit wobbly but I could still hold on to it. In a nutshell, it was a pretty awesome yoga practice! Totally made my day !

490 more to go.

Day 9 : The Dudu Fairy!

Yesterday Madam passed a major milestone - she finally let go off her habit of drinking from her bottle!

About a year ago, I had actually successfully weaned her off the bottle, but as soon as I left for a business trip, my helper and my hubby brought the habit back to calm her down during crying fits caused by a flu. It frustrated me to no end to see all that hard work go wasted, so I completely gave up on it after that. But now it seemed like the the right time to give it another shot, because she will be starting school in April and I wanted to get rid of the habit prior to that. 

So over the last few days I prepped her with the story of a Dudu-Fairy who collects Dudu bottles from good children and in turn give them gifts. At first Madam didn't fall for the bribe of a gift, but yesterday morning, she suggested that maybe she should collect the gift from Dudu-Fairy as soon as possible, lest it goes to some other child.  

So there was much celebration. We wrote a letter to Dudu Fairy (Madam dictated, I wrote), she 'decorated' it with colours, we put the letter and the two milk bottles in a bag and left it at the door overnight.

Of course, she had a tough time falling asleep. I went through story after story, played game after game, the hubby carried her and walked around, before she finally drifted off to sleep. 

This morning, Madam woke to find that the bottles are indeed gone and the Dudu Fairy had left a letter and a toy for her at the same spot near the door. She excitedly picked up the gift and proclaimed, "Am such a good girl! The Dudu bottles are gone! Thank you Dudu Fairy!"

And that point in time, Madam's Mummy felt rather smug. 

491 more to go. 

Day 8: Post Production Joys

Post production of my latest feature is progressing rather slowly, but good news is that it is indeed progressing. And every little progress brings a lot of joy!

Today I received a little bit more background score from my composer, which I approved.

Of all my films, this one has had the most complex soundtrack journey, mainly because the script is such that the film evolves from something that barely needs a score to something that completely hinges on a score, and both my music director and I have found it challenging to figure out the right 'sound' for it.

But I believe we are inching close to something truly special and it makes me so very excited!

492 more to go. 

Day 7: National Gallery & Saha

A few months ago, Singapore opened a National Gallery, by renovating its old Supreme Court, a heritage building. I had heard about it from quite a few people and usually the feedback had been in the lines of "There's nobody there... what a waste!", "There are a few decent food places, that's all", "So much space but nothing to see", and other such lukewarm to negative feedback. Still, I had wanted to check it out and decide for myself. I only got around to it today, and that too purely by chance.

Today being a public holiday, I wanted to go to the temple. So the hubby, my mom, Madam and I went to my favourite Toa Payoh temple after which, I had a sudden craving to eat at Saha.

Saha is a fabulous Indian restaurant I had discovered a couple of years ago but hadn't visited in the last several months. They do really good fusion cooking, with molecular gastronomy techniques and what not! They even give you a pre-dining popsicle meant to clear the palate, so that you better appreciate everything on your plate (the hubby and I were really amused the first time this was offered)!

Since our discovery of this gem of a place, I had recommended it to several friends. It is not a place one can frequent too much given the high prices, but is definitely one for special occasions and treats.

Anyway, coming back to today, I had a sudden craving for Saha and when I went to their website to reserve, I realized that they had shifted to National Gallery. Woot! Two birds with one stone!

So the four of us went to National Gallery. We had about an hour to spare before our reservation time, so we spent it in the Keppel Centre for Art Education which was like paradise for Madam.

They had various activities for children and we spent some time making a paper 'robot' (with a scarf and shawl, as per Madam's instructions, because really, even robots need to be fashion conscious) and a couple of buses of cardboard which had wings and a sail (which she called "Christmas" because it apparently looked like a christmas tree).

The Robot

The Buses 

We also spent a really long time in the "jungle room" as we termed it which Madam refused to leave!

The 'Jungle Room'

We were the only folks around which I thought was great because I loved walking through the long, large, empty aisles (I am always on the lookout for empty spaces in Singapore which are more and more hard to come by) and there was no chaos created by a bunch of kids all trying to do the same activity (even though the staff tells me that it does tend to get quite crowded during weekends and that we are just lucky). Madam could run around to her heart's content and was in great spirits throughout.

There was so much more to explore at the Gallery but we didn't have time to go anywhere else other than the Keppel Centre but I was so excited to have found a really good place for our "outings" with Madam! I promised to bring her back very soon and then we set off for Saha.

Once again, Saha didn't disappoint!

The Meen Moily (fish) with tamarind rice was my most favourite dish this time but the others - Lamb kebab platter, Prawn starter, Mini masala uthappams and the Onion-Mint Rice, were also awesome! Only the chicken curry was a bit of a disappoinment, but am willing to forgive them that. And of course, there was the popsicle at the beginning too! We topped it off with some refreshing Masala tea and I was super satisfied with the evening well spent.

I would say it was the perfect family evening and here's what I think of the feedback so far about National Gallery.

"There's nobody there... what a waste!" - There's nobody there, that's right. And I love that!
"There are a few decent food places, that's all" - There is Saha, what more could one need?
"So much space but nothing to see"- So much space, it's awesome! And so much to see, if one bothers to look!

493 more to go. 

Day 6: The Universe's Balancing Act

Today started out as a really good day.

Because I got a good performance review at work. It felt extra special because this was my first year in the company and my first annual review and given the last few tough months, this really meant a lot. I felt like the universe was throwing me a lot of good stuff to grab on to and feel great.

Then in the afternoon, I had one of the crappiest meeting at work so far. Oh well. Thank you dear universe, I can always count on you to keep me humbled.

Even as the universe plays its balancing act, one thing I do feel through it all is a ton of gratitude. I wouldn't exchange any of the good or the bad for anything else and am determined to make the most of it all.

494 more to go.

Day 5: My Three Year Old Grandmother

As I mentioned in a previous post, I respectfully call my 3 year old daughter 'Madam', because she truly behaves like my grandmother at times. .

Sample this. Today I was sitting in the study room and getting some urgent work done. She came over with her dad and asked me to join them for storytelling. I was completely immersed in what I was doing so I didn't pay attention at first.

Madam: Mummy, come. Queen! 
Hubby: It is not 'Queen' darling. It is 'Quick'!
Madam: No, I am saying 'Queen'. I am talking to Mummy and she is not listening to me. She is a QUEEN. 

Oh dear Lord.

Then she went over to my Mom who is visiting and told her that what she was wearing wasn't really nice. "I think you should wear something else", were her exact words.

Later, I asked the hubby whether he remembered to take a medicine in the morning and he said no. Just before I was about to go into a long lecture on his need to be more responsible for himself, Madam interfered, "Why didn't you take your medicine, Papa? You go take it now. You are a big boy. You need to learn."

As for me, I have learnt that "3 years old" is indeed a great, wise age to be.

495 more to go.

Day 4: Work Wisdom

There was somebody at work who wanted to quit and I was asked to talk to the person to understand what went wrong and if there was any way to salvage the situation. In the course of listening and giving out advice, I stopped to think several times, just to make sure that I honestly, sincerely mean what I was saying and that it wasn't simply sugar coated philosophical drill with the only objective being retaining an employee.

I realized that the person had sent in the resignation note in an emotional fit because of differences with some team members. Alright, I guess many of us would have either done it or wanted to do that at some point in time, because really, who hasn't had differences with folks at work. 

Here are two things I reminded myself (and was part of the advice I doled out) over the discussion: 

1) Don't make big decisions during an emotional fit. - I am usually not guilty of this. In fact, I think my issue is probably the other way round - that I turn a matter over and over and over in my mind several times and for several days, before I actually make a decision. The only impulsive decision I ever make are about holidays - "Am so frustrated/tired, am going on a holiday to clear my head." Escapism, I know, but it works every time. 

2) Don't get so emotional for anything at work. After all, it is only a job - This took me a while to practice. I remember myself being a hot headed Assistant Brand Manager in my first job where everything was a big deal. But thanks to age and experience I think am pretty zen about work right now. It is pretty easy to do that if I think of everything as the company's project vs. my project but I hold myself responsible for what is right for both the consumer and the company. Things somehow fall in place much better that way. 

The introspection and conversation also made me realize the value of what I have - the fact that I am happy at work is indeed wonderful. I really enjoy what I do right now - the job scope, the people, the environment - all of them really work for me and I am so grateful for what I have! 

So today shall be the day I thank my stars for the job I have. 

And today shall also be the day I pat myself on my back for making a person reconsider a decision made under an emotional fit - the resignation has been withdrawn!

496 more to go. 

Day 3: From Coconuts to Khushwant Singh

I seem to have a lot of time on my hand these days. It may be because I am currently not actively working on any movie project (the latest one is under an awfully slow post production phase) or it may be because I am no longer on Facebook figuring out what everyone, from my best friends to my cousins thrice removed, are up to.

Of course, I could spend the time playing with Madam (which is what I respectfully call my daughter because she mostly acts like my grandmother), but she sometimes prefers to play on her own in her own imaginary world where she is the mother, doctor, chef, business executive or Bollywood item girl.

Also let me admit it, I like my me-time too.

So what have I been doing with this excess time? Well, I have been reading a ton of books.

Recently, I rediscovered the joy of the super awesome library system in Singapore, all thanks to Madam who insists on going to the library at least once a week. I also have been making full use of the cheap rates on Flipkart by getting them to deliver several books to my parents or in-laws' place and then getting them to bring the books over to Singapore when they visit.

This time around I got my mom to carry over 10 books to Singapore, much to her exasperation, "If I use up all the 20 kilos on Tiger Airways for your books, what is going to happen to my groceries?!!"

She had a point. Because of this atrocity, I had to have my favourite kadala (chickpea) curry without grated coconut because coconuts, which she usually packs over, were not available in time for the preparation. But the kuvva (arrowroot) payasam was saved in the nick of time, thanks to our helper who managed to procure the coconut the last minute, else I wouldn't have heard the end of it.

Anyway, coming back to my books, the first one I picked up from this lot was 'The Mark of Vishnu' - a collection of short stories by Khushwant Singh. It was the first time I was reading any of his works, so I didn't know what to expect. But I read the whole book within a single day - I loved the simplicity of the writing, the freshness of the concepts and the dry wit. Some of them did make my conservative self flinch with their boldness, but my final verdict is that I like Khushwant Singh.

Just as I was feeling rather pleased with my discovery of a new author whom I can continue to read, the hubby walks in, glances at the book and says, "Oh, you are reading 'The Mark of Vishnu'? It's a good one." 

I was aghast.

Because the hubby never, ever reads fiction. He might have read a grand total of 10 works of fiction his whole life, which includes books from his childhood such as Wizard of Oz. Not that he reads a lot of non-fiction - he hardly gets past 30% of any book, but with fiction, he doesn't even bother turning the first page. So obviously, this was too much for me to take.

Me: "You have read Khushwant Singh?!"

He: "Of course." (ultimate smugness)

Me: "Wow!"

He: "You mean, you never read him before?" 

Me: "Nope" (and I get a smirk in return)

He: "It is a really good one. The one about the snake."  

Me: "Where did you read it?" (suspicion takes over)

He: "You know... I also read." 

Me: "Tell me the truth."

He: "You know..." 

 Me: "This was part of your ICSE syllabus, right?" 

He: *sheepish grin*

497 more to go.

Day 2: Tibetan Tales for Little Buddhas

'Tibetan Tales for Little Buddhas' is a gem of a book my daughter and I picked up from the library yesterday evening. At first, both of us were simply attracted to its beautiful cover.Then  I was intrigued that a children's book has a foreword from His Holiness The Dalai Lama. I mean, I get that it is from Tibet, but it is just a children's book after all. Or so I thought.

In his foreword, the Dalai Lama says, 'I am sure these stories will bring joy to readers young and old.' And he couldn't have been more right. My daughter and I have been through the stories about three or four times already within one day and I am possibly more smitten by them than her. I also insisted that my husband as well as a visiting friend reads them, because I felt like I had to spread the joy!

Over the past few years I have been through a large number of children's books and I can safely say that most of them are a load of utter rubbish - even for kids. Some of them should have never been allowed to be written - I mean, did you know that the woodcutter who helped save Little Red Riding Hood's granny from the wolf's stomach, then stitched back its stomach with stones thrown into them? Or that in a version of Rumplestiltskin, he tore himself into two out of frustration? There are several such examples. Also, what's with all these useless women waiting for useless princes to come and rescue them from a variety of situations and then getting married and living happily ever after? Don't they have anything better to do?!

Closer home, the Panchatantra & Jataka tales are certainly better, but they too are filled with stories of deceit, jealousy, suffering and negativity. But each with some sort of a moral to go along, of course.

And then comes this book of tales from Tibet, with three beautiful stories accompanied by some beautiful illustrations by the Author Naomi C Rose herself. The stories talk about how one can overcome difficult situations simply by a change in one's mindset.

In the first story Yeshi's luck, Yeshi's wise father always question whether something is really good or bad fortune. How do you know what it is until all the events - until the very end - have unfolded? So he says 'Who can say what's good or bad fortune, give thanks for everything.' He keeps chanting 'Ohm Mani Padme Hung' or 'The jewel is in the lotus' bloom', referring to the strength and compassion that one can find in his own heart.

In the second story 'Jomo & the Dakini Queen', my most favourite of the lot, it is about how you have the ability to open your eyes wide and see beyond the obvious, to change your perspective - 'Lift your veil, my dear - I'm not what you fear' is the first line of a verse that comes often in this most mystical of the three stories.

And in the last story 'Chunda's Wisdom Quest', Chunda, the young monk sent out on a 'Wisdom Quest' by his teachers, forces himself to face his fears head on, instead of running away from them. He often falls back to the technique of breathing deeply to keep his head cool and fearless. My daughter and I had a fun time  together breathing in... and out...in... and out....  trying the technique ourselves. Sure, I was aware of it before, but it was a first for her and she seemed to enjoy it.

I can safely say that the summary above does little justice to the book. It was not just messages but how they were brought across with the narratives and illustrations that makes the book a rather joyful read.

In short, the book made our day! Now all I want to do is visit Tiber and its people one day. Because really, the land that spins such tales for its young, surely would be beautiful.

498 more to go. 

Day 1: A New Beginning

If you are reading this, it means that you are rather special to me because you are one of the very few I have invited to read this. It also means that in you, I have found a good willed supporter all the way, so thank you so very much for that.

As you would probably know by now, I used to maintain a '1000 Beautiful Days' blog, counting up to my 30th birthday. That went pretty well, because it ensured that I create something of joy, for myself mostly, every day. And very importantly, I turned 30 in a truly happy state of mind because I felt like I had ticked off all the 'to-do's I could think of for my entire life, within the first 30 years. So yes, it was all hunky dory.

Then I turned a mom and things continued to go along pretty well for a while. I even gave a shot at another 'More Beautiful Days' blog with questionable success because it was hardly regular. I changed jobs, traveled a crazy amount both for work and leisure, made one short film, 6 episodes for sitcom as well as shot a feature film in UAE the post production for which is currently ongoing, and maxed out my time like I always tend to do.

And when my darling little girl turned 3, I was hit by a bolt from the dark as she was diagnosed with nothing less than a brain tumor. But that's alright, because right now, after two major surgeries and numerous hospital visits, she is recovering well, and would be starting school from April. Things don't end here as we would continue to have several scans down the road, and possibly a few rounds of radiosurgery treatment, as the tumor cells are still hanging around. But she is a rockstar and I am proud of her, and we will handle it as we go. (While I am at it, I need to thank you too, for your support too through these trying times).

Coming back to this blog - why another blog? Well, I wish I had a real good reason other than that I had been itching to write. About 1.5 years ago, I started writing these quarterly 'Notes to Self' where I introspect and answer my own difficult questions. That was a fun exercise, no doubt, in fact they are quite eye opening, especially when you read the older versions and have the advantage of hindsight.

But then I felt the need to chronicle my current journey - one where am not just juggling Motherhood, Movies & Marketing (my '3Ms' as I used to call it) but also has a tumor thrown into the mix. The uncertainties that it throws your way is mind boggling and am sure it would make an interesting read in the future.

I had also thought of simply writing fiction - scripts and stories, instead of a blog. I even have a few good threads too, but I am having a bit of starting trouble and am hoping that this attempt to write blogs will somehow, someday, elevate to some serious literary writing. Am also hoping that in the quest for finding something beautiful everyday, I might pump more steam to my movie projects as well.

And why 500 days? Well, because 1000 days seem like a rather heavy undertaking. Also simple math tells my that it is 500 days to Aug 1, 2017 - 2 weeks before my 35th birthday. So that sort of works too, even though not precisely.

So it begins. For today, am just really happy that I am starting to write again!

499 more to go.